My Struggle

God is stirring a desire to love Christ above and beyond anything and anybody in this world. I look at my life now and ask the question, "Do I really LOVE Jesus Christ?" It's a tough question to answer. Do I feel something for Jesus Christ? That's an easy one... yes. Do I appreciate Jesus Christ? Again, an easy "yes". But to say that I love Him is a whole other thing. Loving somebody goes far beyond being appreciative or thankful for a free gift that they may have given you. We might hug somebody with a "thank you" for giving you a nice Christmas gift, but that doesn't solidify your love them. As I go down this humbling, embarrassing, and, somewhat, agonizing road, I'm feeling the Holy Spirit like I never have before. I'm sensing God's presence in my soul. I know that sounds so "songwriter", but how else do I describe it? I'm actually FEELING the presence of God inside my heart, as if He's right beside me, as if He's whispering into my ear, as if He's saying "pay attention to what I'm saying in this". He's drawing my attention to Him, and when He does that... Biblically and historically, He's not doing it to pour blessings into your pocket so that we can rejoice and say "look at what I have!!!". I question whether or not the stuff that we accumulate here on earth is actually blessings when it does nothing but draw our attention AWAY from Christ, keeping us from prayer, keeping us from helping a neighbor, keeping us from loving God and NOT the things of this world. When God pours Himself into us, when God gives to us... He intends for us to use it for His glory in blessing others. When the things of this world become our trophies, then they are useless and pointless, but when they are used to glorify the Name of Jesus Christ and pour the Gospel of life into other's, that's when the stuff becomes useful with a purpose. Jesus is saying to us... "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you (How has He loved us?). Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. Your are my friends (watch this), IF YOU DO WHAT I COMMAND YOU (John 15:12-14)." The proof of our love for Jesus Christ is in our obedience in laying down our lives for our friends. The "greater love has no one than this..." scripture is not JUST to remind us of the love of Christ, but to remind us of how we are to follow in His footsteps. This is where it hits home for me... he follows it up with "You are my friends if you do what I command". Are you his friend? Am I? Are we obeying him? Are we laying down our lives for our friends? Are we living proof of the love Christ has for us? Are we loving Him by being obedient? Not playing more video games, not practicing guitar, not buying bigger homes, cars, bigger 401K's, bigger... you name it. Are we loving the world by laying down our lives, in honor of our love and friendship with Jesus Christ? I'm struggling. God is calling me to obedience... not to a place, a thing, etc. He's calling US to Him, and we need not pick and choose which verses will pertain to us.... we need to submit to ALL scripture, and say yes to Christ with our lives. That's where people begin to see the evidence of Christ's love and our love for Him. The where's, when's how's, etc will come in our loving submission to Him. I pray God uses this to inspire you. Pray for me as my wife and I struggle to love Jesus Christ above all.