It's NOT the $$$

I read today that in 2003 the median weekly paycheck for a person with a bachelor's degree was $900 a week, in 2005 it was $52,000 a year. Let me stop and dry my eyes for a second. OK... now... for those who are just certain that their calling is to be doing what I'm doing... for those who say I KNOW that God has made me for that... I'm gonna MAKE IT... I was made to be a Christian rock star... or whatever it is that goes through that little brain of yours. Let me bring you back down to reality. I've had a LOT of great opportunities throughout my life and I'm a pretty well versed musician... even when faced with an intimidating situation, musically speaking, I'm usually confident that I'll pull it off successfully... not because I'm the best, but because I've just worked hard. On top of all that... I've got a degree in music. Now... knowing my abilities, my knowledge, and accomplishments... let me say... I don't make the above figures that your read at the top of this blog. Shocked? I know most of you probably are. You're probably thinking that I'm lying or that I'm so ashamed of how MUCH I make, that I just don't have the heart to share it. And my reply is... you're wrong, DEAD wrong. You see... when God called me to Himself... He called me to His glory and glorious riches that are found in the knowledge of Christ and the kingdom that awaits us. Sounds easy right? Wrong again. I can't even begin to tell you how much of a struggle this has become for me. Knowing my capabilities, my accomplishments AND the ones that I've yet to embark on, I can easily slip into to thinking that I'm underpaid. I'm signed with a record label!!! That's the mark of a pro, right? That's where the money's at right? Doesn't it count that "Mercy Me" is on my label? I mean COME ON!!! What the freak? I can get so mad. It's tempting to give up everything and just go play for country music sometimes. Sure it can be promiscuous, but hey... I won't be worrying about my finances, will I? Maybe I'll go up to NYC and get in the jazz scene and play with Harry Connick Jr, Michael Buble, or some great up and coming unknown. However... I can't do that... at least, not now, and that's not to say that those things will never happen. I just know that where I am is where I'm supposed to be. I know because God called me to Himself and demanded that I follow Him. He didn't call me to a paycheck, but to an all consuming eternal glory found only in Christ. The bills and stuff are something that I have to face everyday, and they constantly remind me how skinny my checking account is... making it frustrating. Maybe if I didn't have to think about it much, that would be better... but, that's not the case. I DO have to face them everyday. And I'm not gonna lie... it's hard. It's humbling, embarrassing, frustrating, gut wrenching, angering, etc. It's just plain hard. I don't know how to say it. Am I broke? No. Am I making it? Pretty much, but I'm definitely not living in plenty. Well... financially. The thing is that I always get into this rut and then God reminds me that my riches are eternal. My kingdom is not of this earth. I can't tell you how often He has to remind me, but it's a lot, I know that. I know what you're thinking... then find something else to do on top of 33Miles. Well... there are a few things I can do to help, but it's hard because of the inconsistency of my life. It's hard to focus on other things when my life is so consumed with 33Miles and then just having to take care of the things come with being an adult. It's not like I come off of the road and go on vacation all of the time. I honestly haven't had a vacation in 4 years. That doesn't matter though. My point in all of this is if God should ever lead you down this road or ANY road in following Him... fight to love Him, His Gospel, and His kingdom above all else. I say fight because it's just that... a fight. It's not easy to walk in faith when you're surrounded by things of sight. It's not easy to have confidence in your eternal inheritance when the home you're living in the here and now continues to slap you in the face and punch you in the gut. It's not easy following Christ and treasuring Him above all else, but it's right... and it's worth it... and we are not deserving to even be able to whisper the name of Christ, but God through His mercy let's us be worthy. Even sitting here... I'm reminded that I've been given the greatest gift ever, a gift that doesn't reflect my works or abilities, a hope that didn't come from my accomplishments, and a peace that is out of this world. I've been given a Savior. What amount of money could that compare to? Before you follow Jesus today or tomorrow, if it should ever come, take a deep breath, be OK with that fact that our message and calling to Christ does not come with glorious tokens and rewards here on earth when compared to those that treasure this life on earth above all else, but it comes with a prize. A prize that was earned with the life blood and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Run this life with endurance because of your full confidence in Him and what He's accomplished... and let your payment be the fact that you have the privilege of being involved in the glory of God. It's not easy, trust me, but it will be worth it in the end. I would love to provide more income for my family but for some reason God has painted me into this little corner for this season of life where I can do nothing but tend to what He's given me and just trust that He's got it all under control. If you're planning on following Christ for the $$$... you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Follow Him because He's said so... that's the greatest payment ever. Knowing Him. Thank you God for that gift. I'm forever indebted to you Father... wait a minute.

Lockwood

Rest Can Be Good

I can't relax. I'm a madman. If I'm not playing guitar, I'm reading, working on a song, surfing the internet for information on a subject... typically music, running, pacing, chasing my daughter, etc. I C-A-N-N-O-T RELAX!!! I don't know what it is with myself. However... I've surprised myself. Anybody that has spent any real significant time with me knows that I LOVE the guitar. It's almost an affair. A glorious romance, that strangely enough, my wife is well aware of. Jealous? Maybe she is... but she's not willing to fight this love affair since it helps pay the bills. ANYWHO!!! I've taken time off from the guitar. I haven't played for an entire week. Let me explain what that means. I've picked up the guitar quite a bit, used it to help me in working on a song I've been writing for the last several days, spend 10 minutes here and there playing and practicing new lick ideas, and so on, but as for playing it and REALLY practicing? None. It's weird. At first I was nervous, but now not so much. I picked it up today and toyed around with it as a guitar and tool for songwriting and it felt really refreshing. Like things were more fluid. I don't know. Sometimes I think that I become so anal about my playing that it actually becomes work and not my hobby. I know what you're saying... "but Chris, it IS your job... you HAVE to work at it to be successful otherwise you're gonna be smoked by all the other great players in Nashville." Great... now that I've just shed a tear, let me come back to reality... I sincerely believe that I have excelled in my craft b/c it's always been my hobby... it's just fun. I've worked to improve my fun, but it's still fun. If I continue to live and dwell in that place of work and stress... how can I enjoy it then? I still have moments in concert when I throw out licks totally unplanned, get chills, and just turn around and laugh out loud b/c it got me back to feeling like that kid that first picked up the guitar. Those are the glory moments. The moments when I forget about paying bills, making an impression, excelling against all the competition, and just enjoy it. Those are great moments. The instances that I just enjoy the life that God has given me, as if my creativity is in perfect communion with the author of creation Himself... those are rare and beautiful moments. How so very often do we work, and stress, and work, and worry, and stress... and forget to just enjoy God, His salvation, and all the glorious gifts that come along with it. I feel a great amount of pleasure in my creating.... and I love it when I can stop, like my Father, look at it, and say... it is good. For second I wonder if God is giving me a glimpse of the pleasure He felt when He created and creates. Whatever it is... let me encourage you... enjoy what God has given you. Stop stressing, if your faith is in Christ... God wills to finish the good work He began in you. Let us be at peace, with great faith in our Lord, and just enjoy Him... that's why He made us... to enjoy Him. I hope you enjoy Him in whatever endeavors your purue are pursuing. Whatever it is... awesome!!! I'm just thankful that God gave me the guitar, my lovely companion, to enjoy Him in this way.

Lockwood

Changing Strings

I HATE changing strings. I went to Lifeway's main hub here in Nashville the other morning to do a 30 minute devo for the editorial staff. I brought two Taylor's, laid one out, and played the other one. I never explained why I brought 2 guitars for such a short deal, but I'm sure that they had to be thinking "this kid HAS to think he's something, bringing 2 guitars for 3 songs". No... I DON'T!!! I PROMISE. It's just that the strings are old on both guitars and I HATE changing strings!!!